The Top 12 Things Not to Say to a Cop...

1.) I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (Okay in Texas)

2.) Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3.) Aren't you the gay guy from the Village People?

4.) Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good 
job!

5.) Are You Andy or Barney?

6.) I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a 
police officer.

7.) You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8.) I pay your salary!

9.) Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The officer yesterday only gave me a 
warning, too!

10.) Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11.) I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other 
cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12.) When the Officer says "Gee Son... Your eyes look red, have you been 
drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee, Officer, your eyes 
look glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"